Virtually real- Virtuellement vraie

Micheline Harvey: Virtual Assistant, real person/Adjointe Virtuelle, mais tout à fait vraie

Who checks up on me? March 4, 2019

Filed under: My view/mon point de vue — matamich @ 3:03 pm
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ImFine

In a world where we are all busy, running around, with barely enough time to do our work, take care of our children, love our significant others, and perform various basic tasks that require our attention, very few people will check up on each other.

I’m busy. Too busy. With my own business, living alone, a house to take care of, errands, groceries, upkeep, shoveling, yard work, classes, running, appointments, friends, family, social life, sometimes I forget to eat or even take a minute to go pee!

But I check up on my friends who are not doing well, or who have been quiet. And if I check on them and they don’t respond, if they never check on me, I give up and hope that someday I’ll hear from them, or they’ll have a moment so that we can share and get up to speed on each other’s lives.

Life is not always easy, and a smile can hide a lot. Sometimes it’s hard to simply get out of bed. But you do it, because you must.

Sometimes you don’t have 20 minutes to listen to a friend’s problems, but you find time, and you listen. Because they need you, and because you care.

I often think… who checks up on me?

 

Je suis vraie – I’m real March 15, 2017

Filed under: My view/mon point de vue — matamich @ 9:45 pm
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bereal

Je suis vraie

Je suis vraie, je ne sais pas être autre chose. Je ne connais pas bien les règles du jeu. Vous savez, ce jeu où il ne faut surtout pas montrer à quelqu’un qu’il nous plaît, où il faut demeurer distante, mystérieuse, évasive et floue? Ce jeu où il ne faut surtout pas rappeler le mec ou le texter trop souvent, car cela voudrait dire que je suis trop disponible, trop enthousiaste, trop facile?

Je ne suis pas facile. Mais si je m’intéresse à toi, et que j’ai décidé de te le montrer, tu as de la chance. Je ne m’ouvre pas à n’importe qui, et peu d’hommes peuvent capter mon attention, m’intriguer, et garder cette attention. Alors, si tu m’intéresse, je vais te le faire savoir. Je vais soutenir ton regard, je vais te sourire beaucoup, je vais te parler, t’écrire et te montrer qui je suis, incluant mes pensées bizarres, mon sens de l’humour un peu douteux, mes passe-temps étranges, tout!

Si tout cela te plaît, alors dis-le moi. Parle-moi, dis-moi comment tu te sens, sois présent, écoute-moi, appelle-moi, laisse-moi t’écouter, serre-moi fort, fais-moi rire, ne m’oblige pas à me demander ce que tu penses, ne me laisse pas me soucier de mes réactions ou des tiennes, ne me laisse pas me faire du mauvais sang et stresser sur le foutu jeu. Sois vrai. Si tu m’as charmée, tout ce que je veux c’est que tu sois vrai, aussi.

On ne sait jamais ce qui va arriver, court terme, temps partiel, long terme ou juste l’histoire d’un bel été? Mais pourquoi s’en soucier quand on n’a rien d’autre de certain que le moment présent?

On perd tellement de temps avec ce jeu. Et pourquoi? La vie est courte… comme ils disent! Il faut déguster la bonne nourriture, boire le bon vin, danser si on en a envie, montrer nos sentiments, prendre des risques, même si la situation semble compliquée ou sans espoir. Une véritable connexion est une chose beaucoup trop précieuse et rare pour la laisser passer!

***

I’m real

I’m real, it’s the only way I know how to be. I can’t play the game. You know, that game where you’re not supposed to show someone that you like them, where you’re supposed to remain aloof, mysterious, coy, and unclear? That game where you are not to call him back or message him too often, because that means you’re too available, too eager, too easy?

I’m not easy. But if I like you, and I’ve decided to show you how I feel, you are lucky. I don’t open myself to just anyone, and not just any man can catch my eye, intrigue me, and keep my attention. So, if I like you, I’ll let you know. I’ll hold your gaze, I’ll smile at you, I’ll talk to you, I’ll write to you, and I’ll let you see who I am, strange thoughts, quirky sense of humour, crazy hobbies, everything!

If you like all of that, then let me know. Talk to me, tell me how you feel, show up, listen to me, call me, let me listen to you, hug me hard, make me laugh, don’t let me wonder what you’re thinking, don’t leave me to worry about my reactions or yours, to wonder and stress about the game. Be real. If I fell for you, all I want is for you to be real, too.

We don’t know what it will lead to, short term, part time, long term or just a fun summer? But why worry about that when all we have is right now?

We waste so much time on this game. And for what? Life is short, as they say. Eat the delicious food, drink the wine, dance if you feel like it, express how you feel, take a chance, even if the situation seems hopeless or complicated. A true connection is a terrible thing to waste!

 

You’re gay? Well then I don’t love you anymore. April 6, 2013

Filed under: My view/mon point de vue — matamich @ 9:29 am
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GayPrideHeart

I’m tired of hearing stories about people who stop speaking to friends or family members who come out to them as being gay. I’m sick and tired of hearing about how awful it is for the parents, siblings, etc.

 Have you ever considered how horrible it is to have to pretend to be what you are not in a society where there is still prejudice and violence and you feel that even the people who are closest to you, even your own parents, will no longer love you if you are honest and true to yourself and come out as a gay man or woman?

 This is the root of the problem, people. If this pressure and judgement did not exist, then gay and lesbian youths would stop pretending to be straight, entering into heterosexual relationships and marriages and then coming out much, much later and upsetting everyone, including their own children!

 How can you honestly say that you love your child and yet turn your back on that same child when he or she admits his true sexual orientation? How can prejudice and fear affect true love?

 It makes no sense. And as long as we don’t address the true root of the problem i.e. society’s prejudice, judgement and violence, there will continue to be heartache, sadness, tension and even the unthinkable. Wonderful, caring, loving men and women may turn to suicide because the people that they love most can’t get past petty judgement and fear.

Take a look at the real problem. Then make an effort to change.

 

Where have all the good men gone? January 3, 2013

Filed under: My view/mon point de vue — matamich @ 8:45 pm
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insecurity1Is life with an insecure man possible, long term? Or is it a road to disaster? I understand that insecurity often stems from childhood, the way he was brought up, bad experiences, trauma, being overly criticized. I know it can come from a previous bad relationship if he was taken advantage of.

The thing is, we’ve all been through stuff, and we all have baggage. At some point, you have to grow up and let it go.

Most of the time, you can’t even spot an insecure man in a crowd. The insecure man will put on a show when in the presence of others, acting as if he’s fully secure in his own identity and has total confidence in himself, his ideas, his beliefs, his actions.

But the insecure man is unable to laugh at himself. If you make a joke about something he says or does, even if it’s quite funny, he’ll become insulted. He’ll accuse you of attacking him. He’ll shut down and give you the silent treatment. He’ll lash out at you, and insult your personality, your character traits. He’ll fight dirty and attack you personally.

You may laugh because he’s all excited about going to the gym and talking about it for the umpteenth time, although every time he talks about this, he never goes. Or he goes a few times and then gives up, letting his costly membership run out without getting his money’s worth. Will he laugh and sheepishly admit that you’re right, he’s a big talker but he never quite makes the commitment? Oh no. He’ll stop talking to you, turn his back, and ignore you if you talk to him. And when you ask him what’s wrong, he’ll tell you that you are a mean spirited person, that you constantly attack him all the time, you don’t encourage him, and so on.

The insecure man needs constant praise. Whether he paints a fence, washes the car, cooks a meal, picks up take-out or gives you a ride to work. If you don’t give him praise, he will feel neglected and hurt. He will take it personally. Does he praise you when you perform your multiple daily, weekly, monthly tasks? Of course he doesn’t. Praising you is quite secondary. He only cares about what he gets.

It makes you wonder what on earth his mother did to make him so needy. It makes you wish moms would step up and raise their little boys to be real men.

The recipe for survival with an insecure man is to never, ever say anything negative, derogatory or laugh at anything he does or says. Never tease him. Not even in good spirit. He’ll take it the wrong way and make you feel like crap for days. The price is too high to pay.

You have two choices, either you praise him for every little thing that he does or at the very least agree with him and say “okay”. Don’t express yourself. Don’t react normally. Whatever you do, do not laugh.

If you are able to live while constantly walking on eggshells, or turn yourself off and become partially dead inside, then things will probably run smoothly for a number of years. If the very thought of turning into some deranged robotic Stepford Wife terrifies you, the operative word would probably be… RUN.

Or you could just rethink the whole thing over a glass or two of wine and practice the fine art of “letting go”. This way you don’t even notice the insecurity. You just smile and carry on.